Moving Forward

Mom's last day of agony was Monday, October 5th.

This has been one of the many transitions in my life during the past 5 months. Another has been the the freedom to visit other churchs in the Des Moines area.

During a time of worship yesterday, I was struck with the question: Am I completely/fully satisfied with the love of God, and trust He is enough for all I need? If the answer is "yes" how is this demonstrated/lived out in my daily life?

Mom Report Day 128

Yesterday mom was scheduled to begin her fifth and final week of radiation treatments and chemotherapy pills. It wasn't until late last week that the treatments caught up with her.

As this is a report about her, it is also a report of observations I've just noted about my dad, too.

Yesterday mom was too weak to do anything and the radiation oncologist had her admitted to the hospital primarily to be rehydrated. The cumulative effects of the treatments have completely depleted her of energy, strength, appetite, and hydration. It was all my dad could do to get her to even sit up momentarily.

As I sit here in the hospital room, mom dozing in and out of sleep, and dad doing likewise, the type-A in me thinks he is wasting his time watching her sleep. But I realized for him, he could be nowhere else.

As that thought ran through my mind my mom woke up from a little nap, trying to recount the subject of her afternoon dream. The sight is typical now: mom too physically weak to talk loudly, feebly begins to utter a few words; dad growing ever-deafer springs out of his chair to hear her and stands at her bedside, bent over with his ear only an inch away from her mouth.

This scene brought back just a few similar scenes from today: dad's arrival at 7am bending over her bedside with the most gentile kiss on the cheek; laboring several times to get mom up and out of the bed to go to the restroom--he does not leave her side; sitting on the bed feeding her tiny spoonfuls of lunch--eager to build her strength; all the while fighting off the frustration that he can't will her to get stronger...

Bible expositors say that the word "love" in the Bible is a verb--something to be lived out in a practical fashion. I see what they mean.

Light out of Darkness

Ed Thomas, head football coach at Aplington-Parkersburg High School in Parkersburg, Iowa was killed by a former student on June 24th.

The coach was admired nationally for the juggernaut football program he built, the successful men he shaped and the resilient town he helped rebuild after a devastating tornado last summer. News of his death has flashed around the country.

He won 292 games and two state titles in 37 seasons, and ranked 32nd among active high school football coaches nationwide in victories.

Thomas coached four players who are active in the National Football League this season. Since the school has fewer than 300 students, per capita, no other high school in the nation has ever had as many NFL players among its alumni.

At an afternoon news conference, Thomas’ son, Aaron, thanked community members for their support and prayers.

Mid-way through his 3 minute statement…Aaron said: “God always has a reason. At this

time, it’s very tough for us to understand that.”

As I heard those words my heart went out to him. I thought, “We should do something for him and the family.”

Upon reflection, I recognized that his slain father had already done that.

Aaron was speaking from a foundation of faith that his father had helped him establish. It was as if Aaron was quoting Job’s unflinching trust in God during the devastation in Job’s life.

Job grasped tightly to his belief in the character of God saying, “Even if He kills me, my trust is in Him.”

Even though he can’t understand the reason for this tragedy, Aaron is leaning on God.

So back to the “we should do something” thought. Am I close enough to God to withstand such a tragedy? Are you? And what are you doing this week to deepen that reliance on God?

And second, for parents—is it a part of your plan to raise your children to develop such a foundation? If so, you know that it is a process that has to happen daily.

Are you helping your children to understand God’s power in creation? His goodness even in the midst of trials? How God is still there when your friends aren’t? Why “no” is often the most giving response to a request for some thing? How you’ve trusted God when the chips are down?

Now is the time to do this…before you need to…before the darkness comes…show them the Light.

Mom Report Day 38

A little more than a month has gone by since my mom's 6 and 1/2 hour surgery. When I talked t her on Tuesday, I was informed she had made a major breakthrough--she had eaten a White Castle hamburger!

This is momentous because White Castle "belly bombers" are her favorite. And I took an empty box to her ICU room and posted it on the bulletin board as an incentive for her. So, early this week she reached that goal, which I'm sure is a true test of her digestive system.

Mom Report Day 34

My mom is doing pretty well at home. She is a little more comfortable there and no one is waking her up every two hours to stick her with something. She left the hospital with a feeding tube and a gastric drainage tube that were supposed to be removed Tuesday. Unfortunately the doctor said “they weren’t ready to come out yet.” I know my mom was really ready for them to come out, but apparently there has to be some more internal healing before they “will” come out.

She is eating really well which is a good thing; she is becoming increasingly active which is also a good thing. My sister said she was out for a walk for a little while…a really little while, but is making good progress.

When I talked to her earlier this week, she said the cancer surgeon told her the surgery did not get all of the cancer and she would need chemo. I don’t know how she sounded, but I’m sure very worried. I’m going back during the first week of July—my dad’s 80^th birthday, and to spend some time with her.

Mom Report Day 28

Less News is Better
Mom is enjoying the comforts of home now. In talking with her last night it is apparent that she continues to get more energy and is becoming herself more and more. She said she is not in any pain; is still weak; and is still "carrying this walker around."

She will go tomorrow to have the abdominal feeding tube and gastric drainage tubes removed.

Letting Go

Speaking with a ministry friend about the struggle of breaking free of addictions. As we talked it struck me that letting go is always scary. Letting go of jobs, people we love; control...Faith is about letting go.