Mom Battles Cancer

Below is the text of an email I sent to some of my closest friends to let them know my mom was facing serious health challenges:

May 18, 2009

I wanted to let you know that following the 6 hour surgery late Monday to remove a portion of her stomach, small intestine and pancreas, my mom has been in intensive care recovering. She has had a real challenge with her lungs coming back to full strength.

While her recovery has seemed to progress, the lab reports that came in last night on the biopsies taken during the surgery are troubling. Apparently 3 out of the 5 lymph nodes biopsied showed that cancer had infiltrated those nodes. Also, the pancreas showed that cancer was also present there. The surgeon was surprised that the labs show the cancer is much more invasive than earlier testing showed.

If my mom’s lungs and heart can recover sufficiently from Monday’s surgery the next step in treatment will be some form of chemotherapy. I’m praying that she would recover to the point of being able to take on this additional treatment…or if that is not the case, that God would provide His gracious comfort to her.

May 23, 2009

At hospital; when I arrived at about 3pm, my aunt, cousin & her husband from Collinsville, IL, my brother, sister, and dad were here.

While doing physical therapy earlier today, mom’s heart rate spiked and she had to stop the physical activity and received some medication to control her heart rate. The medication was effective, but not doing the physical activity set her recovery back a day. The plan was to sit up today and walk tomorrow…but the schedule is now pushed back.

Mom is talking some and is alert, though she is laboring in both breathing and talking.

Another positive sing is that she has had bowel movements, which indicates her digestive system is working.

Had dinner with dad and Jeff. Dad expressed concern about mom’s lungs and can’t believe that the two doctors she has been seeing for the past several years cold test her lungs and say they were “clear.” He also expressed concern regarding the biopsies, saying one “is going to come back bad.”

Jenise expressed concern that the status of mom’s heart and lungs make the possibility of congestive heart failure the most imminent risk.

May 25, 2009

At hospital for overnight shift. On the morning of the 24^th the house doctor said mom “was making acceptable progress.”

She was put in a chair to sit up yesterday and did that twice today.

Tomorrow they will do some type of dye test to make sure that everything internally is sealed well.

She is likely to be moved to a “step-down” room—one that is not “intensive care,” but still on this floor.

Her heart rhythm is much better now after the medications they’ve given her; and her breathing is better, but still a little labored.

She is sleeping now (it is 6:30pm), but is not extremely comfortable.

Over the past two days she has improved, but is still weak, afraid, and a little surprised at how difficult this recovery is.

On the way here this afternoon, I thought about how difficult it is to rest here. It seems that every hour they are sticking her finger to check her blood glucose levels. They were at 84 on the last check and I believe they will take her off of the intravenous insulin. But I was thinking a great way to really understand a little of what it’s like would be to have them stick me in the finger with a needle every time they stick her.

I wish the recovery would go fast. I wish her heart and lungs were stronger. I pray that God gives her a strong desire and will that will help her to do the difficult things she needs to do to recover from the surgery and face the choices of future treatment.

I know she is scared. When talking about moving her to a lower-level-of-care room, she said she wanted to make sure someone was with her all the time…and suggested that we should hire a nurse to be with her. She also asked if Pastor Pelsue could come and give her communion.

I redirected her thoughts from that, but this is hard. Not the sitting by her frequently ringing monitors; not manning the overnight shift; but the conversations with Jenise about he future; the thoughts of how this will affect dad; how recognizing death is everyone’s destination doesn’t make it easier when the conversation involves your mom.

May 26, 2009 10pm

After a shot of Adavan to help her sleep, mom again expressed concern about being moved to a room where she would receive less nursing attention. She also asked for Pastor Pelsue to come and give her communion and later asked for him to come and read her some scripture. She asked if I thought when someone dies and they are put in the coffin does their soul go to heaven. I told her that is what the Bible says. She said she say the angels and then described them as being bright white with flowing white hair and robes. She then asked if you are bad do you go to hell. I told her that we are all bad and that is why God sent Jesus to earth—to take the punishment for all of us because none of us can live up to the standard God set. And to go to heaven we have to believe that Jesus died for us and rose from the grave.

She is dozing off now but I think her fear is keeping her from letting go to rest comfortably.

May 27, 2009 12.13am

Mom is sleeping well after a full day. She was up, bathed and sitting in a chair from 5 – 8am Tuesday morning. She also got up on her own with the aid of a walker and took two small steps. She was also given a dye scan to determine if all of the areas of surgery were closed tightly. A preliminary report shows everything to be leak-free. Unfortunately during the scan, they removed a gastric drainage tube and she began to eliminate fluid orally. The tube was reattached and she is feeling good.

Her heart and lungs are much better—continuing to improve. Mentally she is more alert and much more verbal. She is generally gaining strength and now needs to get her body in motion so she can continue to get stronger.

Jenise believes they will move mom to a “step-down” room tomorrow. This is a room still on this floor, but a “step-down” from intensive care. Mom is a little fearful of that, but is gaining more confidence.

She has gotten a few hours of sleep and is now getting all of her tubes and vital signs checked…and hopefully will be able to go back to sleep.

Blood sugar was 142 and mom is being given 3 units of insulin. This is after it was 54 late yesterday…and they gave her some dextrose to bring it up.

May 27, 2009 10.30pm

This afternoon mom was moved to a regular room and the heart and oxygen monitors were removed. She still has the gastric tube and urinary catheter. She is doing much better. She walked a fair distance before they moved her to this new room.

Jenise said that the oncologist talked with dad today. This probably means that dad was given the results of the biopsies and knows that the surgery did not get all of the cancer.

This surgery has been really difficult for mom and I know that she will not immediately embrace the idea of additional treatment.

May 28, 2009

Mom again slept well last night considering the interruptions of breathing treatments and the checking of vital signs.

My hope is to find that when I get there in a few hours that she has been up walking and also sitting in her chair.

May 29, 2009

Didn't get much of a chance to record much last night. Sleep wasn't as easy last night...mostly due to interruptions from nurses. Mom was also a little restless...she is ready to get out of the hospital bed and out of the hospital. I encouraged her to continue to walk as much as she can. getting ready to head up there soon and relieve dad.

A Legacy of Care

My friend and our Pastor of Congregational Care died recently. Here is what I put on my computer screen for our church newspaper:

How much compassion can God pour into one person? You can easily answer that question if Bill Green ever spent any time next to your hospital bed.

Seemingly tireless, absent of a watch to take note of the pre-dawn hour, eagerly surpassing the boundaries of Des Moines, always ready with a word from his well-worn Bible and a firm but comforting grasp of your hand, Bill was ideally designed by God to provide care and compassion to God’s children.

In the letter written to the believers in Rome, Paul passionately exhorted each of them to live lives of sacrifice which would ultimately bring glory to God. Later in that twelfth chapter, Paul said that could best be done by doing service in the way God has gifted us. Certainly Bill Green had a number of the gifts listed in that chapter, but one does stand out from verse 8, which has been paraphrased: “Let the man who feels sympathy for his fellows in distress help them cheerfully.” Those words do characterize Bill and the wonderful ministry to which God called him.

Of course Bill didn’t do all of this alone. His wife Clarice was never far from his side. In fact, she has been with Bill since he took her to the circus at the tender age of 12. Bill finally married Clarice in 1951, the same year he graduated from Drake University. Passionate about his country, Bill also spent 2 years, 3 months and 27 days in military service (according to Clarice who tracked their days apart).

As we recall the tremendous comfort Bill provided to so many of us, our hearts go out in sympathy to Clarice and their son, Ed, daughter-in-law, Kem, and grandchildren J.D. and Emily. Our prayer is that in time God’s enduring love will be of comfort to each of them.

Another ministry Bill carried out here at First Federated Church was that of conducting the funerals and the home-going ceremonies and celebrations for so many saints who have gone before him. As we pay tribute to God for the work He has done through Bill, we may come to recognize that Bill is finished leading us in saying those “good byes.”

However the tremendous ministry God gave Bill can be used to inspire each of us to more fully practice God’s instruction to “comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves have been comforted.” As Bill looks down on us carrying out this command, I’m sure it would bring that familiar smile to his face.

Sports Displays Life

I really enjoy much about sports. One significant thing is the stories-that-relate-to-life. For example, in the 2004 Summer Olympics, Matt Emmons was just focusing on staying calm. He wishes he had been more concerned with where he was shooting.

Emmons fired at the wrong target on his final shot, a simple mistake that cost the American a commanding lead in the 50-meter three-position rifle final and ruined his chance for a second gold medal.

A story of triumph in the face of adversity from the same 2004 Summer Olympics, relates to gymnast Paul Hamm. After three rounds, Hamm held a good position, but a disastrous fall on the vault, in which he nearly fell into the judges' bench, dropped him to 12th place and he looked to be completely out of the running for any medals. (He is close enough to grab the judge's phone and call his dad to come and pick him up early!)

However, numerous faults by the other gymnasts, combined with Hamm's performance on the parallel bars, returned him to fourth place after the fifth rotation. Then, his high bar routine gained him a score of 9.837, winning him the gold medal by a margin of .012, the closest in Olympic Gymnastics history.

A story closer to home, literally, is of gymnast Shawn Johnson. She has won numerous championships and recently the US Olympic Trials. She just turned 16 and lives in the same town as I.

A compelling portion of her continuing story happened when a news reporter asked Shawn what it feels like to win the US Women’s Olympic Gymnastic Trials. She said: It is the feeling of hard work paying off. (Note: She has been training for 13 years.)

When I heard her say that, I thought about the “hard work” of spiritual growth. The following two verses came to mind:

Proverbs 23.12: Apply your heart to discipline and your ears to the words of knowledge.

1Timothy 4.7: But have nothing to do with worldly fables fit only for old women. On the other hand, discipline yourself for the purpose of godliness.

This question also came to mind: In what area am I “applying my heart to discipline” with the purpose of growing spiritually? Horace Mann is quoted as saying, “Habit is a cable; we weave a thread each day, and at last we cannot break it.” What spiritual habit am I working to develop so that I can see the hard work pay off?

Most research indicates that developing a new habit requires devoting 15 minutes a day for 30 days. We each have 96 15-minute segments in our day. Can you afford to invest one of those in establishing a new spiritual discipline? Let me know how it goes in 30 days.

Foundations of Your Worldview

Read this quote this morning:
Follow your instincts. That's where true wisdom manifests itself.

A few moments later, I ran across this quote:
God gives wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding.

The first comes from Oprah Winfrey; the second, from Solomon in Proverbs 2.6. The question seems to be, Who's view of the world and the way it works are you going to buy into?

Who are You Playing For?

By-and-large college athletics maintains a degree of purity that professional sports has lost. If you are not a sports fan, stick with me as this is not a story about sports per se.

Especially during the college football bowl season and the NCAA basketball tournament there are a number of human interest stories that transcend the athletic competition.

I’ve been moved by stories of athletes escaping war-ravaged homelands to achieve academic and athletic success along with much valued freedom; or of young men who have lost both parents due to drugs and gang violence and have successfully taken on the responsibility of raising their younger siblings while attending college and excelling in sports.

This past week, another inspiring story has risen above the excitement of athletic wins and losses.

Stephen Curry is a 20-year-old sophomore basketball player for Davidson College. Davidson is a 1,700 student liberal arts college near Charlotte, North Carolina. Curry played remarkably well and led his team to unprecedented success in the 2008 NCAA Basketball Tournament. While his accomplishments are record-worthy, what has gained significant notice are his feet—or what is on them.

On Curry’s NIKE basketball shoes, is a handwritten quote, “I can do all things…” Often this type of writing would be a sure sign of bravado or cockiness. That frequently happens in sports. Curry is different. He has exhibited a humility that's perfectly at odds with the statement he penned on his shoes.

"It's easy to give a lot of glory to yourself when you have a lot of success," Curry said in an ESPN.com interview. "And I could get into the mind-set that everything I'm doing is because of me. But I just can't think like that."

So it seems the writing on his shoes is not the product of a me-first mentality or an overblown ego lurking beneath a shell of false modesty. There just wasn't enough room to finish the quote.

"Oh, that," Curry said. "It's Philippians 4:13: 'I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.' It's always been one of my favorite Bible verses. … I realize that what I do on the basketball court isn't a measure of my own strength. Having that there keeps me focused on the game, a constant reminder of Who I'm playing for."

Stephen Curry is an accomplished athlete. He is also an outstanding spokesman for Jesus in his own unique way.

It is helpful to realize that you too can be an outstanding spokesman for Jesus, and you don’t need to be an accomplished athlete. Curry used the opportunities and tools available to him to share his faith. You can too.

What is "your game?" What are you doing in the arena in which God has placed you that points to Him?

Knowing God's Instructions

The Des Moines Register carried an article and review of a new book by John Izzo, “The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die.” The article noted that that the author interviewed two Iowans in his research. From a practical standpoint, it is helpful to filter life and current culture—including the multitude of books that are published, through the grid of what the Bible says. This aids in recognizing the intersection of faith and life. Consider Izzo’s “Five Secrets” in light of what the Bible teaches.

Secret #1: Be true to yourself. The author says you should have the discipline to listen to your heart to find out what makes you happy and the courage to follow that path and make it a priority. Examine how God contrasts Izzo’s secret in Genesis 6.5 and Matthew 16.24.

Secret #2: Leave No Regrets. Izzo teaches that when faced with a decision, you should think of yourself as an old woman sitting in a rocking chair near the end of life and ask yourself: What decision do I wish I had made? At the end of life you won’t regret risks you took. Measure this secret against Philippians 4.6; Ephesians 5.1; and, 1 Peter 2.21.

Secret #3: Become Love. The author claims that people who “become love” look at love as a choice rather than an emotion. Choose to become a loving person by loving yourself, eliminating self-critical thoughts and then making loving relationships with others a priority by not being critical. Reflect on these instructions in Matthew 22.39 and Ephesians 4.32.

Secret #4: Live the Moment. Izzo claims it is important to live fully in each moment, not looking back or forward or judging each moment, but being alive in each moment with gratitude. Consider this biblical measurement in Colossians 3.1-4.

Secret #5: Give More Than You Take. Last, Izzo encourages you to find a connection with others that is outside yourself, not focusing on finding personal happiness, love, fame and fortune, but in acts that improve the lives of others. Explore these commands in Romans 12.10; Philippians 2.3; and, Acts 20.35.

Relationships In the Church

Researchers like George Barna have noted that as our society has become more advanced technologically, we have become more disconnected.

The disengagement our fast-passed culture creates runs counter to everything we know and feel as human beings, and as Christians. Henry Cloud, in Changes that Heal, writes: Relationship [or connection], then, is at the foundation of God’s nature. Since we are created in his likeness, relationship is our most fundamental need, the very foundation of who we are. Without relationship, without attachment to God and others, we can’t be our true selves. We can’t be truly human.

As our church has explored a number of arenas in which we make choices to help us grow spiritually, we recently examined the context of being Family Centered.

Being Family Centered means making choices in my life that are consistent with my design to live and grow in vital relationships, including marriage, family, and biblical community.

More than 50 times in the New Testament, God gives us instructions on how to relate to others in the spiritual community. This list includes:

Be at peace with each other. (Mark 9:50)

Wash one another’s feet. (John 13:14)

Love one another. (John 13:34-35; 15:12, 17; Romans 13:8;1 Thessalonians 3:12; 4:9; 2 Thessalonians 1:3; Hebrews 10:24; 1 Peter 1:22; 4:8;1 John 3:11, 23; 4:7, 11, 12; 2 John 5)

Be members of one another. (Romans 12:5)

Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. (Romans 12:10)

Honor one another above yourself. (Romans 12:10)

Live in harmony with one another. (Romans 12:16)

Edify one another. (Romans 14:19)

Accept one another, just as Christ accepted you. (Romans 15:7)

Instruct one another. (Romans 15:14)

Greet one another with a holy kiss. (Romans 16:16; 1 Corinthians 16:20;2 Corinthians 13:12)

When you come together to eat, wait for each other. (1 Corinthians 11:33)

Have equal concern for each other. (1 Corinthians 12:25)

Serve one another in love. (Galatians 5:13)

Carry each other’s burdens. (Galatians 6:2)

Be patient, bearing with one another in love. (Ephesians 4:2)

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other. (Ephesians 4:32)

Speak to one another in psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. (Ephesians 5:19)

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. (Ephesians 5:21)

In humility consider others better than yourselves. (Philippians 2:3)

Bear with each other and forgive one another. (Colossians 3:13)

Teach and admonish one another. (Colossians 3:16)

Make your love increase and overflow for each other. (1 Thessalonians 3:12)

Encourage each other. (1 Thessalonians 4:18; 5:11, 14; Hebrews 3:13; 10:25)

Spur one another on toward love and good deeds. (Hebrews 10:24)

Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other. (James 5:16)

Live in harmony with one another. (1 Thessalonians 5:13; 1 Peter 3:8)

Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. (1 Peter 4:9)

Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others. (1 Peter 4:10)

Clothe yourselves with humility toward one another. (Romans 5:21; 1 Peter 5:5)

Fellowship with one another. (I John 1:7)

These instructions lead us into deep personal relationships, to that intimate connection and care that is a part of authentic biblical community.

God’s design is that we live in relationship with other believers. A great next step is to explore the list and determine one way you can establish or further a relationship in the spiritual community that will help you continue to grow spiritually.